What is Love? This article is taken from a talk given in London in 2013 When I was invited to speak here I asked myself, “What would I like to talk about?” True love! It’s a topic I’ve been interested in for some time and may someday write a book…
This article originally appeared in the TIR Association Newsletter Resilience, the ability to respond creatively to a variety of life situations, has a lot to do with quality of life. Defenses, those mental or emotional structures and mechanisms we set up to protect ourselves from danger, can lead to rigidity and…
This article summarizes a presentation from the 2005 TIR Association Annual International Symposium in Barrie, Ontario Presence and intention are the keys to success in every endeavor: giving sessions to clients, being a parent, being an employer, being an employee, making love, being a friend… everything. In this article, we…
This article originally appeared in the TIR Association Newsletter Vol. 2, No. 2 (April 1999) Rapport, that most precious commodity for anyone working with clients in order to help them, builds upon two factors. One we might call “doing nothing” and the other, “doing something”. Our caring, receptive presence, the “doing nothing”…
This article and other similar articles can be found in AMI/TIRA Newsletter Volumes 1-2: Selected Reprints 2004-2005 (currently out-of-print) Obviously the process of learning includes more than the accumulation of data. To translate into effective action in the world, learning must have a component of practical application but to get to…
Engagement: In viewing, the state in which the viewer (client) is attentive to an item of emotionally charged case material and, using a viewing technique and the help of the facilitator (practitioner), is actively working through the item to discharge and resolve it. Interestingly, the better rapport is maintained between…
This article originally appeared in the TIR Association News & Views Newsletter, Vol. III, No. 3 (October 1999) Life Skills: Improve the Quality of Your Life If you enjoy this article, we recommend you check out Life Skills: Improve the Quality of Your Life with Metapsychology available from www.TIRBook.com Let us first take a look at the…
This article originally appeared in the TIR Association Newsletter In the subject of Applied Metapsychology, a case supervisor is someone trained and experienced who offers supervision to facilitators (practitioners) using TIR and other techniques with individual clients (viewers). This supervision consists of going over sessions together, further training the facilitator as needed, and…
Marian Volkman reviews How to be a bad birdwatcher by Barnes, Simon ISBN: 0375423559 This very fine short book, published in London, is one of the most delightful books I have read in a long time. A dear friend of mine heard Simon Barnes himself reading from it on BBC…
Marian Volkman reviews Waking Up in Time by Russell, Peter ISBN: 1579830021 This makes a good companion book to Gleick’s Faster, in that it covers the accelerating pace of life, but Russell goes further, ascribing direction and meaning to this acceleration. I love the first chapter which talks about the…
Marian Volkman reviews Adult Children of Alcoholics: Expanded Edition by Woititz, Janet G. ISBN: 1558741127 This was, and still is, a ground-breaking book. If this describes a category in which you could put yourself, reading it may bring you sweet relief. Reading the list of common characteristics of adult children…
Marian Volkman reviews Healthy Parenting: How Your Upbringing Influences the Way You Raise Your Children, and What You Can Do to Make It Better for Them by Woititz, Janet G. ISBN: 0671739492 For people brought up in a heavily adult-centered world, this book will offer up some startling ideas, such…
Marian Volkman reviews The Good Marriage: How and Why Love Lasts by Wallerstein, Judith/Blakeslee, Sandra ISBN: 0446672483 The author thought that an awful lot had been studied and written about dysfunctional relationships and that it was high time that someone made a good study of successful, long-lived relationships to see…
Marian Volkman reviews Why They Kill: The Discoveries of a Maverick Criminologist by Rhodes, Richard ISBN: 0375702482 A fairly badly written book, in my opinion, but still well worth reading, as nothing else that I am aware of covers this ground. Rhodes writes about the life and work of a…
Marian Volkman reviews On Aggression by Lorenz, Konrad ISBN: 0156687410 Honestly, it’s been a long time since I read this book! I am only putting it on the list because it was interesting to me back then and because I mention a story from it in my Life Skills book….
Marian Volkman reviews The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by Gottman, John ISBN: 0609805797 As I mention in Life Skills, Gottman takes the opposite view to the “we must communicate everything out” school of thought. Having always been a member of that school myself, I found it odd to…
Marian Volkman reviews The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Evans, Patricia ISBN: 1558505822 How to recognize it is very well covered here. How to respond is much less certain. I have recommended this one many, many times, both to clients and other practitioners. Evans does a great job of differentiating between…
Marian Volkman reviews Healing the Hurt Child by Donovan & McIntyre ISBN: 0393700933 I was lucky enough to hear them give a half-day presentation on their work some years ago. These two break the mold. They get better results faster. They get results where many have failed before them. They…
Marian Volkman reviews Revolution From Within: A Book of Self-Esteem by Steinem, Gloria ISBN: 0316812471 Gloria Steinem, the famous feminist, changes her tune in this book. In looking at self-esteem she discovered that though men and women “do” low self-esteem differently (she says in culturally opposite ways), it’s still self-esteem…
Marian Volkman reviews Moving Beyond Words by Steinem, Gloria ISBN: 0671510525 This collection of long essays defies classification. I especially call to your attention the masterly piece, “What If Freud Were Phyllis?” The footnotes are almost as long as the text, but I enjoyed them all and gained understanding of…
Marian Volkman reviews Emotional Intelligence by Goleman, Daniel ISBN: 0553375067 This one is so well-known that it almost needs no introduction. This is a scholarly work rather than a light breezy one, but definitely worth reading. What so clearly emerges here is that while enormous effort and expense goes into…
Marian Volkman reviews The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Covey, Stephen ISBN: 0743269519 >Rich with important and useful ideas on how life, relationship and leadership work, this book takes a bit of getting into. My sister told me to be sure to note that the reader ought not…
Marian Volkman reviews NonZero, The Logic of Human Destiny by Wright, Robert ISBN: 0679758941 You may wonder why I have put this into the Miscellaneous category as well as the Inspiration category. I did, because part of the Misc. category is humor, and this is one of the funniest books…
Marian Volkman reviews Becoming Attached: First Relationships and How They Shape Our Capacity to Love by Karen, Robert ISBN: 0195115015 The quality of our connection to others has such a profound impact on the quality of our lives. That is why I recommend this book so highly. If you want…
Marian Volkman reviews The Lazy Man’s Guide to Enlightenment by Golas, Thaddeus ISBN: 158685190X This little book is a treasure. I’ve read it many times. It was out of print for years, with used copies selling for fabulous sums. Inevitably it turned up on the Internet in its entirety. There…
The Gift of Fear by de Becker ISBN: 0440226198 While I have recommended this to many an anxious client and many a therapist, this is one of those books from which everyone can gain important knowledge and understanding. De Becker is that rare sort of person: someone who is an…