Marian Volkman reviews
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
by Gottman, John
As I mention in Life Skills, Gottman takes the opposite view to the “we must communicate everything out” school of thought. Having always been a member of that school myself, I found it odd to look at another way of doing things, but I had to take a good look because of his meticulous research and his high ability to predict the long-term success or failure of marriages.
This is laid out like a workbook, with quizzes and lists to illustrate his principles. There are many good talking points for a couple to use to strengthen their relationship. While I can’t agree with everything here, (at one point he implies that it is a better strategy for a wife to go out any buy something each time she and her husband have a significant disagreement, rather than… hmm, yes, communicating things out), Gottman is onto something important here. He offers concrete, practical thing couples can do to improve the quality of their relationship, and hence, their lives.